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She’s Crazy

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Ash

Tess may be my girlfriend, but I’m pretty unhappy with her after she tried to kill my little brother Zag. Not only that, but she’s not even sorry.

Zag doesn’t have a mean bone in his body. He loves everybody. Well no, wait a minute. Zag was always picking a fight with our Codie, but she was old and deaf and didn’t notice.

Now that Codie is gone we hoped Zag could become a full member of our pack. Not according to Tess. Not only did she attack Zag, she called him a “little fur ball.” That’s really cussin!

I’ve tried to talk to Tess about it, but she acts like it was no big deal. It was a big deal. She was so insane she bit her own lip. She had blood on her snout like some pirate. Then she made kissy kissy with mom and pretended she didn’t know what all the fuss was about.

I told mom that Tess has to see a psychiatrist.  Maybe she’s got some baggage from her past life. Mom says Tess has border collie personality disorder.

Me and mom are gonna take Tess to charm school. After that Tess will spend some time with our friend Cody, the service dog. She really looks up to Cody and maybe she’ll listen to him.

While I was working on this bark, Tess pulled up one of her favorite pictures of herself. She asked me to post it so readers could see the good side of her. Which side is that Tess? The red side or the white side?

Tess

Think good thoughts and maybe Tess will mend her wicked ways. I’m keeping my eye on her for a while.

Oops, gotta go. That fool dog next door is hollerin’ for me to come run the fence line. See ya!

Jack

I Saw It

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Jack

I saw the whole thing, and it didn’t play well. Ash had just returned from the beach. He and Zag were happy and tired.

I was relieved to see mom. It was her first time away from me and I couldn’t sleep while she was gone.

Tess had enjoyed her time without Ash. She got to be the center of attention, which suited her just fine. She gets away with more when mom isn’t around.

The beach dogs jumped out of the car and headed towards the front yard. I came out to say hello, hoping for a big hug from mom. Tess came out with murder in her eye.

I wanted to warn mom what was about to happen, but there wasn’t time. Tess gave a low growl and launched on Zag. He never saw her coming. She hit him like a hawk on chicken and knocked him to the ground.

Mom was about three steps away. She grabbed Tess by her neck and haunches and lifted her off Zag. Fortunately Zag didn’t want to fight and he ran off. Mom put Tess on the ground and held her down until she stopped struggling. She kept telling Tess how bad she was but Tess wasn’t buying it. All Tess wanted was another go at Zag.

Poor Ash. He couldn’t believe Tess would behave like that. He was so upset that Zag got mugged, and especially that his best girl Tess was the mugger. The people were really upset. They had just had a nice time at the beach and Tess went and spoiled everything.

I think Tess is crazy. She wants what she wants and doesn’t care how her behavior hurts her pack. The rest of the time Zag stayed with us they were kept separate. Tess did her first stint in solitary so Zag could be in the house. She didn’t care.

Tess starts reform school next month. I’m not sure that will help. You have to want to do better, and I don’t think Tess is there yet. Time will tell. For now Tess is under house arrest. Tomorrow Ash will tell you what he thinks about the whole affair. He’s been working on his bark since it happened. It helps him make sense of things.

Asher

My Story

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Zag and Asher’s Mom

This is me, Zag. Ash said I could bark about my vacation last week. Me and my mom and my little brother Rhett took the truck and drove to Asherpark. I didn’t know where we were going until we got there.

When I saw Asher’s mom I went crazy. I pulled back my lips and gave her the biggest, goofiest grin ever. Then I jumped in her arms and she lifted me out of the big truck.

See the picture? It’s me and Asher’s mom at the beach. She’s like my second mom. I think I have a crush on her. She told me she’d always look out for me and I could live with her if I ever need a place to go.

You probably read yesterday’s bark from Tess. She barked about how she doesn’t like me and tried to kill me. She even called me a little fur ball and mongrel. She sure doesn’t want me around.

I’m not sure why she hates me. I don’t feel that way about her.  But she’s not the boss. Asher’s mom is the boss and she says I am welcome. So we worked around the nasty Tess. I spent some quality time with Asher and his mom in the guest room. Ash and me played the snarly mouth game. When we were tired I got on the bed with Asher’s mom. She told me I am silly and wonderful and she loves me lots and lots. That’s all I need to know.

Tess, I’m sorry you got so mad at me. I don’t hold any grudge. Maybe we can work things out. I’m already looking forward to next year when I come visit my big brother Ash again. See ya soon!