BarkingProse

Mom just told me I am insolent. Ha Ha. I didn’t know what that word means, but I knew it wasn’t a compliment. So I looked it up. You know what? I am insolent. Rude, impertinent, full of myself and loud about it. Yup, that’s me.

A while back I decided that me and mom are partners. Oh, I let her boss me around sometimes. But other times I get after her until she does what I want. Bark, bark, bark. Right in her face, spit flying.

Into the laundry room to grab some underwear. Chase me around the room. Not paying attention? Grab a shoe. Still ignoring me I’ve got my paws on the counter to swipe the dishcloth. Bark bark. Race around the house getting Jack and Tess all worked up too.

Mom tells me she got Tess so I’d have somebody to play with. That was really nice and I do love hanging with Tess. Me and Tess play all sorts of games together. But mom belongs to me and I want her to pay attention to me unless I have something better to do.

Jack wants mom to notice him too, but he’s a gentleman about it. He just hugs her knee real close so she trips over him. Tess flops on her back so everybody has to stop and rub her belly.

Me, I have my ways. See my ball? Now pick it up and toss it to me. Didn’t notice? No problem. I’ll drop it on your lap.

Mom spends too much time with her computer. When I think she needs a break I bark at her until she gets up. She tells me she is rewarding my bad behavior. I tell her we are communicating.

Now Jack has learned to bark at mom when he wants something. It’s hilarious. Jack’s crooked old mouth with half a dozen teeth making those funny shapes while he barks. There’s no question who rules the house. Us dogs do!

It’s been a week since my last bark. I did this once before and got in big time trouble. This time it was worse. Mom didn’t scold me. She just asked me if I knew I was disappointing my friends who like to read about Asherpark.

Guilt. It’s worse than a good scolding. I don’t even have an excuse except I was goofing off and didn’t have much to bark about.

Mom told me when nothing much happens at Asherpark I can bark about other stuff. So today I’m barking about having a home.

It’s real cold at night now. Sometimes the stars are out and it’s dry and clear. Other times that pesky cold rain soaks through your coat and pretty soon you want inside.

When Tess was a stray it was summertime. She got picked up in July, right after all the fireworks. She said she wasn’t homeless for too long, but long enough to know she didn’t like it.

Jack had a home but the authorities took it away from him. Or they took him away. Either way he lost his home, but he wasn’t really homeless. He went right to jail.

When us house dogs go our for walks, we don’t have to stick together. The front is all fenced. I’ve tested every spot and haven’t made a break out for a couple of months. Tess used to try to break out, but that was before she decided she belongs to dad. Now she won’t let him out of her sight.

When Jack first got here mom had to take him out on a leash. He was afraid the door would shut behind him and he’d never get back in. Now he likes to go to the farthest corner of the pasture to do his business. He’s older and it takes him longer to find the perfect spot. Usually we’re all back at the house before he’s done.

When he looks up and realizes he’s alone, he gets this frantic look. He starts running like some guy who’s about to miss the bus. You’d better get out of his way when he’s on his mission. Mom waits for him at the door to let him in right away. When he sees her he eases up a little in his trot. She opens the door and welcomes him home.

Usually me and Tess wait for Jack just inside the door. Tess always bumps him when he comes inside. I sniff under his tail to make sure he’s feeling okay. Mom gives him a big hug and tells him not to worry so much.

It’s hard to figure out which of us house dogs is the lucky one. I’ve known nothing but kindness and good times. Tess was a stray and could have been put down if nobody wanted her. Jack was taken away from a not so good place and ended up in his dream home. Think about it. Doesn’t that make us all lucky dogs?