Longings

Tess

Sometimes I feel nostalgic for a past I cannot remember. When you’ve been a stray like me your history gets lost.

Nobody knows my birthday. My current pack never knew me when I was a cute little fur ball. Nobody can tell stories about when I was a pup.

I envy Ash in that regard. He has a history. He has a birthday. He has a context about his life that Jack and I don’t have.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m really grateful that I got adopted. I could have spent months in the slammer like Jack. Or worse yet, my life could have been ended before I had a chance to live.

Sometimes when I am in a quiet mood, I think about what once was and what I no longer remember. Someone taught me to kiss before each meal. I religiously follow that instruction. It seems to delight everyone. But why? And who?

What was my name before I was renamed Tess? Who taught me house manners and where to do my business? Who taught me to shake for a treat? Who were my people. Do they miss me?

I have great anxiety about being abandoned. When Ash gets in the car he falls asleep. I pace back and forth worrying that I might be left somewhere and have to start all over again.

Each day is a new beginning. I grow in confidence and learn new things. I am grateful for the present, though I still long for what my past once held. I feel like I am not quite whole. I feel like a part of me is missing. I am in search of something I once knew but long ago forgot. I am in search of myself. Respectfully, Tess.

I’m Okay

Jack

Ash says I have a poor self image. I disagree. I know my shortcomings. There are many.

I’m an old worn out mutt. I lived many years in squalor and chaos. Ultimately the authorities removed me from the only home I ever knew.

I was underweight and full of fleas. My bad ear was infected and my eyes were filled with pus.

I spent five long months in the joint. It was a hard and lonely time.

They took my only friend Butch away and never told me where he went. I had no one. Then it was over.

Now I live at Asherpark. I have my own pack. People fuss over me. I have someone to follow. I have friends. I have value.

I have an ear infection. Someone cares how I feel. Old Dog Haven pays for my treatment. My people take me to the vet and give me my meds. I feel better already.

I’ve had so many ear infections. I used to scratch and scratch. That’s how I got the big cauliflower ear. That’s why I look funny.

I don’t know why my life changed for the better. I don’t know why I was chosen by Old Dog Haven. I don’t know why I ended up at Asherpark. I just know that I am very grateful.

I have been hungry. Now I want for nothing. I have been lonely. Now I am surrounded with love. I give thanks to the universe. I am very grateful.

Our Jack

Jack

He’s got a head as big as a dinner plate and tiny little paws. His dry eye syndrome makes his eyes weep giving him a sad look.

His right ear is thick and gnarled like a prize fighter. Now he has an infection in that ear and it bothers him a lot.

Mom gave Jack a pain pill this afternoon. He’s having trouble staying awake. If he wakes up and can’t find mom he gets real nervous and trots all over the house looking for her.

Last night I heard mom talking on the phone. She told her friend Jack acts like he has been abused.  Mom said whenever anyone reaches towards Jack he flinches.

I thought maybe it was because he doesn’t see that good. But mom said he sees just fine. Even the eye doctor said his eye condition hasn’t blurred his vision.

Mom said it’s likely somebody hit Jack in the past. That makes me really sad. Jack is the nicest guy in the world. Why would anybody be mean to him?

Nobody has ever hit me. Not for anything. When I was a pup and got into all sorts of trouble, mom gave me time out till I calmed down. She’d never let anybody hurt me.

We’re taking Jack to see Dr. Brad tomorrow. We gotta do something so Jack feels better. He counts on us to take good care of him. Old Dog Haven will pay for his vet bills.

Jack doesn’t understand why strangers send money to Old Dog Haven to support him and other final refuge dogs. I told Jack it’s because he’s special.

There are lots of people who want old dogs like Jack to have a good life. Maybe they can’t have a dog of their own, but they want to help support old dogs who haven’t had an easy life.

Even though Jack is deaf, he can hear kindness. He may flinch when someone moves towards him, but he still loves people. He’s an old worn out dog with a beautiful soul. We’re gonna do everything we can to keep him happy. We want Jack to live a long long time.

Stay tuned. I’ll put out a bark as soon as we know what’s wrong with Jack’s ear. See ya!