Girlfriend Troubles


Oh I’m in big trouble now. Tess saw the bark from yesterday and she’s mad as a hornet.

Tess said the picture of her on the couch was awful. She thinks it makes her look fat.

Tess didn’t like me calling her a lazy border collie and my remark about losing her girlish figure put her over the edge.

Good grief. Don’t girlfriends have a sense of humor? In my guy brain I thought she’d see that I was teasing her because I like her so much. I wouldn’t tease some girl I didn’t like.

I quick asked dad how to get out of this mess. He laughed and said, “Ask your mom.”

So I asked mom and she laughed too. When I started towards Jack he looked the other way. Tess, of course, was not speaking to me.

Eventually Jack took pity on me and suggested I call some helpline. Now that’s going too far. I’m not paying a therapist because Tess took my teasing the wrong way.

I decided I’d better run the fence line to clear my head. Tess passed me in the yard and wouldn’t look at me. I thought about giving her a little nip on the butt like any good herding dog, but I figured that would just make things worse.

As Tess was going in the house I barked at her. “Hey Tess, I’m sorry.” She stopped and looked at me. “Really?” she said.

“Yeah, really,” I barked. “Tess, I was making fun of you because I know you so well. I love your silly self.”

Tess stood real still. I was afraid she was gonna cry. Then in a flash she gave me a full body slam. We started rolling around in the snow playing the mouth game. Tess made horrible growl sounds, but when she grabbed my neck she was real gentle.

When we were done playing rough, Tess kept me company running the fence line. On the way back to the house Tess grabbed my collar and gave it a yank. When we walked through the door she slammed me, just like she usually does.

I think Tess is over her mad. Next time I’m gonna think twice before I bark silly stuff about her. Gotta run!





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