She’s An Angel

ShilohIt’s hard to talk about what happened to our pack this year. We lost Mama in January, Tess in April, and little Shiloh is in a fight for her life.

The day after Mama died we got the results from the biopsy on Shiloh. She has a malignant tumor in her anal gland and there’s nothing we can do to save her.

When me and mom heard the report from the vet, we burst into tears. Why does so much bad stuff happen to such a sweet little mutt?

Shiloh doesn’t see it that way. She’s so grateful to be at Asherpark, she never complains about anything. She just wants to be near me and mom.

Even though she’s crippled, Shiloh chases me down the driveway. She’s right with me when we bark away the shadows.

Shiloh even challenges people who come to the house, putting herself between the stranger and mom. That little mutt has the heart of a lion.

It’s been lonely for both me and Shiloh. She lost Mama and I lost Tess. We’re both walking around with tears in our hearts.

Mama and Shiloh

Mama and Shiloh

Sometimes me and Shi lie side by side just like her and Mama used to do. We don’t have to say a word, we just let our hearts do the talking.

That’s why I have to stay strong for Shiloh. I know Shiloh is dying and she does too. Every moment with her is special because there aren’t that many moments left.

When the air is still and the coyotes howl, Mama comes to check on Shiloh. Their bond was so strong it didn’t break even when Mama passed.

Me and mom spend time just sitting with Shiloh. Little Shi sleeps a lot now but she sleeps much better when we are with her.

It feels like Shiloh is slowly fading away, kinda like her Mama did. I know she’s thinking about Mama and missing her.

For now we’re gonna love that little girl the best we can. She’s awful special to us. I hope she can stay a little longer ’cause it’s gonna break our hearts when she leaves us. Stay strong, Shiloh. We love you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Through My Tears

Ash

Ash

It’s been two months since Tess died and my world turned upside down. It all came on so fast I hardly knew what was happening.

I could see that Tess was slowing down but she was still full of herself and could play a mean game of bump and run.

Mom kept asking Tess what was wrong. Either Tess didn’t know or she wouldn’t say. Finally after lots of trips to see our vet Mom made an appointment with a specialist.

Two days before her appointment Tess was panting heavy and had a distant look in her eye. Mom didn’t like what she saw and took Tess to see the emergency vet. They ran some tests on Tess and did an ultrasound on her belly. The news was awful. Tess had a huge tumor and there was no hope.

Tess

Tess

We were stunned. Our beautiful crazy Tess was gonna die and we barely had time to say good-bye.

Tess came home that night and sat by me. We didn’t talk out loud but our silent barks went back and forth like ping pong balls.

“Ash, I’ve been called home,” Tess said. “I’m not ready to go but I don’t really have a choice.”

Tess and Ash

Tess and Ash

“I wish I was going instead of you,” I blurted out.

Tess pawed me and licked the tears from my eyes.

“You gotta stay, Ash. You’re the lynchpin at Asherpark. You have to put the pack back together after I go.”

How could I put things back together without Tess? We’d always been the Evil Twins. We did everything together. And now Tess was leaving and I’d be one sad and solitary mutt.

My heart was screaming and there was nothing anybody could do or say to make it stop.

Tess knew how bad I felt. She did her nasty girl growl and took off running. I chased after her and caught her half way to the front gate. We ran the rest of the way together, barking like a couple of fools.

Tess was still with me. The terrible day would come soon enough, but for now this was our time.

 

 

 

 

 

My Final Day

Tess

Tess

The two days since my diagnosis flew by. My people never left my side and let me eat all manner of treats. For some reason my appetite did not fail me, so the treats were a welcome distraction.

People came to say goodbye. My special friend Carol came with a sack of burgers from McDonalds. I was so happy to see her and I was especially happy to eat the burgers.

Another friend brought her camera and took pictures of me. I felt like a princess being stalked by the paparazzi.

In the afternoon of the day I would die, I took what has become a ritual walk into the pasture to wander amongst the alpacas and the hens. It seemed strangely comforting to know the farm animals were unaware it was my last day.

Leaving the animals behind, I walked around the back yard, rolled in the grass and then returned to my favorite place in the studio, where I spent countless hours with Ash and my people.

Soon the phone rang. The vet was on her way and my time left on earth could be measured in minutes. My people tried to be strong for me. They told me how much they loved me and what a wonderful dog I was. Their tears splashed on my nose and they used my fur to dry their eyes.

Ash looked at me and I could tell his little boy heart was going to explode. That was the hardest part, saying goodbye to my best friend.

Mom asked if I wanted to have one last treat with Ash. Of course I did, so we raced into the our crates like we had hundreds of times before.

Tess and Ash

Tess and Ash

And then it was time. The vet arrived as expected. Mom put Ash in his crate with a bone so I would know he was close by.

My people told me over and over how much they loved me. They kissed me goodbye and wished me godspeed on my journey. As I crossed the bridge I knew in my heart that everything happens for a reason. I am where I should be and I am whole again.