It’s tough having a girlfriend. Just when I want to run the fence line Tess wants me to play with her.

Now the pressure is on. Valentine’s Day is coming. It’s the day that really puts us guys on the spot.

What do you get the girl who tried to kill your little brother? Anger management classes?

If I don’t get her something she’ll say I don’t love her. If I get her the wrong thing she’ll say I don’t understand her.

I asked Jack if he had any suggestions. He shrugged and said he never had a girlfriend. He said the only Valentine he wants is mom.

I asked dad what I should get Tess. He admitted he never knows what to get mom. He said women love flowers. Maybe Tess would like a rose.

I can’t get Tess flowers. She’d eat them or pee on them. She’s not much for toys and definitely has no interest in balls.

Mom noticed I was kinda down. That worries her because I’m usually a happy guy. So I told her my problem. She laughed and said we can fix that real easy.

Mom said I should invite Tess on a Valentine’s date. Mom will drive me and Tess to the local dog park. We’ll sniff and pee and check out the other couples. Afterwards mom will take us to the pet store and I’ll buy Tess a huge dog biscuit. Perfect! Why didn’t I think of that?

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