I Am Not A Pervert


Just because I like my mom’s dirty underwear doesn’t make me a pervert. I prefer her undershirts but I’ll settle for what’s available. If all else fails I’ll go for socks or shoes, but her undershirts are my favorite.

I only take my mom’s underwear. I have been known to swipe a sock or two from guests, and routinely grab a sock from my dad on my way out the door in the morning. But I only have a taste for underwear my mom has worn.

Ash in Pink

I like to sneak into the closet where the hamper lives. I carefully select my garment. She can tell what I’m up to by my strut. I prance around to show off what I’ve got. I walk past the people and turn my head to make sure they see the laundry. If anyone tries to intercept me I pick up the pace and run a few laps around the couch.

Some people argue I should be scolded for swiping laundry. My mom says a good laugh is hard to come by and she’ll put up with little holes in her undershirt for the fun of seeing her laundry saunter by. I think it gets to what’s important in your life – a good laugh or nice underwear. Tough choice. Anyway, gotta run.

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