BarkingProse

Ash

It’s tough having a girlfriend. Just when I want to run the fence line Tess wants me to play with her.

Now the pressure is on. Valentine’s Day is coming. It’s the day that really puts us guys on the spot.

What do you get the girl who tried to kill your little brother? Anger management classes?

If I don’t get her something she’ll say I don’t love her. If I get her the wrong thing she’ll say I don’t understand her.

I asked Jack if he had any suggestions. He shrugged and said he never had a girlfriend. He said the only Valentine he wants is mom.

I asked dad what I should get Tess. He admitted he never knows what to get mom. He said women love flowers. Maybe Tess would like a rose.

I can’t get Tess flowers. She’d eat them or pee on them. She’s not much for toys and definitely has no interest in balls.

Mom noticed I was kinda down. That worries her because I’m usually a happy guy. So I told her my problem. She laughed and said we can fix that real easy.

Mom said I should invite Tess on a Valentine’s date. Mom will drive me and Tess to the local dog park. We’ll sniff and pee and check out the other couples. Afterwards mom will take us to the pet store and I’ll buy Tess a huge dog biscuit. Perfect! Why didn’t I think of that?

Tess

Sometimes I feel nostalgic for a past I cannot remember. When you’ve been a stray like me your history gets lost.

Nobody knows my birthday. My current pack never knew me when I was a cute little fur ball. Nobody can tell stories about when I was a pup.

I envy Ash in that regard. He has a history. He has a birthday. He has a context about his life that Jack and I don’t have.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m really grateful that I got adopted. I could have spent months in the slammer like Jack. Or worse yet, my life could have been ended before I had a chance to live.

Sometimes when I am in a quiet mood, I think about what once was and what I no longer remember. Someone taught me to kiss before each meal. I religiously follow that instruction. It seems to delight everyone. But why? And who?

What was my name before I was renamed Tess? Who taught me house manners and where to do my business? Who taught me to shake for a treat? Who were my people. Do they miss me?

I have great anxiety about being abandoned. When Ash gets in the car he falls asleep. I pace back and forth worrying that I might be left somewhere and have to start all over again.

Each day is a new beginning. I grow in confidence and learn new things. I am grateful for the present, though I still long for what my past once held. I feel like I am not quite whole. I feel like a part of me is missing. I am in search of something I once knew but long ago forgot. I am in search of myself. Respectfully, Tess.