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Changes

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Ash

He showed up in a shiny black truck. Us dogs started barking like crazy. That’s what we do when anybody comes to the house.

Mom was real happy to see him. She called him Matt and gave him a big hug.

He had a dog in a crate I wanted to meet, but we had to stay in the back yard. Then this big doofus of a golden retriever jumped out. He was huge and handsome.

Matt said the dog cost more than his truck. That’s nothing. Mom says I’m priceless. Turns out the dog was really a puppy. A very big puppy who was learning to hunt.

That’s what Matt does. He teaches dogs to hunt. He also teaches them manners. Do you see where this is going?

It’s true. Mom said us house dogs were getting worse not better in the manners department. She said we all three gang up on her, barking rudely at her when we want her to do something.

Mom told me I was going to get my wish. She said I kept bugging her to do something and now she had done it. We’re all gonna get home schooled. Oh no! I like being a brat. I don’t want no stinking manners.

Once we were all in the big yard with the blond puppy, Matt sized us up. It didn’t take long. Jack got off the easiest because he’s old and deaf: easy going, wants to please. Matt said Tess was a softie, lacks confidence and starts fights because she misreads signals from other dogs.

Then it was my turn. I kinda knew it was coming. Matt said I was full of myself and wanted to boss everybody around. He said I was too smart for my own good and needed a full time job. He called me a handful.

Just to show mom that Matt didn’t know what he was talking about, I started bugging the puppy. When mom tried to stop me I herded everybody into a circle. I was just starting to enjoy the chaos when Matt intervened. In the biggest voice I ever heard he shouted “QUIT!”

Of course Jack didn’t hear it. Tess was startled and flopped on her back. I was so surprised I stopped my bad behavior. The puppy ran and sat next to Matt. Mom tried not to laugh and I suddenly got a glimpse of my future. There’s a new sheriff in town and things are gonna change.

During our first lesson Tess learned to heel, Jack learned one slap on the leg means sit, and I learned not to interrupt while people are talking. Mom got a lesson plan for all us mutts. Jack starts off with remedial training. Tess is in first grade and I’m in reform school. Good thing I learn fast!

You know what? I’m already liking the lessons. Each one of us gets special time with mom and then we get play time after. This home schooling might not be such a bad thing after all. Stay tuned. Matt comes back next week to see how we’re doing. Gotta run!

Tess

My Valentine

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Tess and Ash

This is me and my girl Tess. She’s my Valentine and my best dog pal. When we’re rolling around on the floor together moms says we act like two young lovers.

Tess makes horrible growly sounds when we’re playing. She sounds like she’s possessed. If you didn’t know Tess was my Valentine, you’d think she was trying to kill me.

Me and Tess understand each other. I know not to bother her when she has a frozen turkey neck. She knows to get out of my way when I’m doing my whirling dervish.

One time Tess got so freaked out by thunder that she sat on my head. It was goofy and I couldn’t breathe. But I knew she was scared, so I stayed real still until she was ready to move.

Tess hardly ever plays with toys. If Tess had come to Asherpark when she was a pup, I would have shown her how to play.

Once in a while Tess takes a liking to a toy. I always let her have it even if she rips it up. I even let her take my ball. She only does that when she wants me to play with her.

I can count on Tess to back me up. If I have to chase some varmint away, she’s right there with me. If some strange dog attacks me, she’s on him like a flash.

I’m a lucky guy to have Tess for my Valentine. I love hanging out with her. She’s pretty and funny and brave. What more could a guy ask for?

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY TESS!

Tess

Girlfriend

by  • 

Ash

It’s tough having a girlfriend. Just when I want to run the fence line Tess wants me to play with her.

Now the pressure is on. Valentine’s Day is coming. It’s the day that really puts us guys on the spot.

What do you get the girl who tried to kill your little brother? Anger management classes?

If I don’t get her something she’ll say I don’t love her. If I get her the wrong thing she’ll say I don’t understand her.

I asked Jack if he had any suggestions. He shrugged and said he never had a girlfriend. He said the only Valentine he wants is mom.

I asked dad what I should get Tess. He admitted he never knows what to get mom. He said women love flowers. Maybe Tess would like a rose.

I can’t get Tess flowers. She’d eat them or pee on them. She’s not much for toys and definitely has no interest in balls.

Mom noticed I was kinda down. That worries her because I’m usually a happy guy. So I told her my problem. She laughed and said we can fix that real easy.

Mom said I should invite Tess on a Valentine’s date. Mom will drive me and Tess to the local dog park. We’ll sniff and pee and check out the other couples. Afterwards mom will take us to the pet store and I’ll buy Tess a huge dog biscuit. Perfect! Why didn’t I think of that?