BarkingProse

It’s true I’ve led a charmed life. My birth and that of my six siblings was planned. My parents were chosen for their temperament and athleticism.

My first memories were of kind and gentle people holding me before I could open my eyes.

By the time I was five weeks old I had been spoken for. Because I have the flawed gene that makes my dark colors fade, I had to go to a home where I would not make puppies.

Mom came to see me when I was six weeks old. Even at that young age she said I was an independent little cuss who was always off exploring. I also displayed my affection for shoes, selecting the stinky barn shoes as my treasures.

I did not immediately have my own dog park. We lived for a time in the city, which was rich with smells and very confining. Mom would get up at 5am to take me to the dog park before she went to work.

I had the luxury of my own nursemaid. Princess Codie reluctantly allowed me into her domain but warned me repeatedly about looking at her food. When I was a mindless pup she nipped me on more than one occasion to reinforce the manners she was teaching me.

I didn’t care about the nips. With so much fur I rarely felt a pinch. Over time I could tell that Codie was beginning to enjoy my company. Soon we were a pair. The Blue Dogs, we were called.

If you’ve read the DailyBark you know we lost Codie in 2009. Soon after we rescued Tess, and later took in Darcy and Jack. It was after Codie’s death that I became the babysitter.

Tess, Darcy and Jack never had the stable home that I enjoyed. Bounced around, in and out of shelters and different homes, they lacked the confidence about their world that I have.

When Tess arrived it took the whole household to keep her calm. Either mom or dad stayed with her constantly for two weeks. Finally mom told me I had to take over as babysitter. I wasn’t sure exactly what that meant, but I was willing to try.

One night mom and dad walked up the hill to have dinner with the neighbors. When Tess saw them leave she began to wail and threw herself at the door. That was pretty entertaining. Tess howled for over an hour until her voice gave out. She finally collapsed on the floor panting.

Tess still gets nervous when our people leave but now she sulks instead of carrying on. I don’t know what Tess would do if I didn’t stay home with her. I know she sticks real close to me when we’re home alone. Tess has come so far. I’m really proud of her.

This bark is getting pretty long and it’s time for me to run the fence line. That’s my reward for being the babysitter. I’ll bark about Darcy and Jack another time. See ya!

Oh I’m in big trouble now. Tess saw the bark from yesterday and she’s mad as a hornet.

Tess said the picture of her on the couch was awful. She thinks it makes her look fat.

Tess didn’t like me calling her a lazy border collie and my remark about losing her girlish figure put her over the edge.

Good grief. Don’t girlfriends have a sense of humor? In my guy brain I thought she’d see that I was teasing her because I like her so much. I wouldn’t tease some girl I didn’t like.

I quick asked dad how to get out of this mess. He laughed and said, “Ask your mom.”

So I asked mom and she laughed too. When I started towards Jack he looked the other way. Tess, of course, was not speaking to me.

Eventually Jack took pity on me and suggested I call some helpline. Now that’s going too far. I’m not paying a therapist because Tess took my teasing the wrong way.

I decided I’d better run the fence line to clear my head. Tess passed me in the yard and wouldn’t look at me. I thought about giving her a little nip on the butt like any good herding dog, but I figured that would just make things worse.

As Tess was going in the house I barked at her. “Hey Tess, I’m sorry.” She stopped and looked at me. “Really?” she said.

“Yeah, really,” I barked. “Tess, I was making fun of you because I know you so well. I love your silly self.”

Tess stood real still. I was afraid she was gonna cry. Then in a flash she gave me a full body slam. We started rolling around in the snow playing the mouth game. Tess made horrible growl sounds, but when she grabbed my neck she was real gentle.

When we were done playing rough, Tess kept me company running the fence line. On the way back to the house Tess grabbed my collar and gave it a yank. When we walked through the door she slammed me, just like she usually does.

I think Tess is over her mad. Next time I’m gonna think twice before I bark silly stuff about her. Gotta run!