Worthless

Nellie

I feel so worthless sometimes. I can’t hear, I can barely see, I stumble when I walk, and now I am having more trouble controlling my bombs.

This morning I had just finished a yummie breakfast and was walking towards the door to do my business. Next thing I knew I’d dropped a bomb in the kitchen.

Mom smelled it right away and quick picked it up with a paper towel. Then we all followed her outside so she could drop it in the poop bucket.

Tess kinda sniggered and poked Jack with her snout.

“Knock it off, Tess!” Ash snapped. “Nellie can’t help it and she doesn’t need you to be making fun of her.”

Ash moved closer to me and said, “Don’t worry Nellie. You bring mom so much joy. She doesn’t care if you drop a bomb or two in the wrong place. Besides, your bombs are like rocks. They’re easy to pick up.”

But how can an old worthless dog like me make somebody happy? I couldn’t figure that out so I went and asked mom.

“It’s hard to explain,” mom said. She told me she would think about it and tell me after my nap.

That was okay because I get real sleepy after my meals. Soon I was sound asleep in the pantry.

When I woke up mom sat down next to me and took my head in her hands. I let her hold me now. Before I could hardly bear to have anyone touch me.

Anyway, this is what mom said:

“Nellie, there is something sacred about an old dog, especially an old dog that has been mistreated. Despite being sick and neglected when you were rescued, you appreciated everything we did for you. You asked for nothing more than a warm place to sleep and something to eat. You never expected anyone to treat your injuries. You never thought anyone would ever love you.”

Mom was sure right about that. I was happy to be spared the death sentence at the shelter. I was grateful just to be alive. I sure never expected anyone could love me.

“But how can you love me when I’m such a burden?” I asked.

“You’re not a burden,” mom said. “You just need a little more help than the other dogs.”

Yeah, that’s for sure. I need a whole lot more help.

“You’re the easiest dog in the pack to take care of,” mom went on. “You have the best manners. You don’t bark or jump on people. You don’t carry on when your people leave. You don’t run off on an adventure every chance you get.”

“But why do you love me?” I persisted.

“Because you are so terribly sweet and vulnerable and loving yourself,” mom replied.

“You mean you love me because I love you?” I asked.

“Yes, Nellie,” mom said.  “I love you in part because you love me. I also love you because you are a wonderful spirit. We are so lucky to have found you.”

Suddenly Ash and Tess started barking like maniacs. Jack began to wail. I could hear just a faint commotion, but mom covered her ears and shouted at the others to pipe down.

Ash grabbed a shoe and began prancing around the living room. Tess flopped on her back so someone would pet her. Jack nudged mom so hard with his nose she almost tripped.

I stood with mom, quiet and calm at her side. I am loved.

 

 

 

Stormy Times

Nellie

Nobody wants to do this Bark. It’s because we haven’t posted a DailyBark for a long time and we are all embarrassed. Whenever mom mentions it’s time for a Bark, the other mutts run outside. I can’t run and I won’t leave mom, so I’m the one mom talks to.

It really bothers mom when we don’t post the DailyBark. She keeps giving us ideas. How about the time I fell head first in a snow drift? How about the fun we had when the lights went out. These are all good ideas, but nobody felt much like barking.

Finally I couldn’t stand it any longer. I told Ash that if we didn’t post a Bark soon nobody would read our stuff anymore. Ash looked real sad and said, “I know you’re right Nellie. I’m just so bummed out I can’t bring myself to do it.”

Tess, Jack and Ash were in a circle around me, looking at their paws and acting nervous. Finally Jack blurted out, “Nellie, why don’t you do the Bark?”

I was shocked and flattered at the same time. It was the first time my pack had asked me to do anything to help them. They were always the ones looking out for me. Bringing me home when I got lost in the dark, getting mom when I was stuck in some corner and couldn’t get up. I was thrilled.

“Sure, I’d be glad to do the Bark,” I said. “I’ll get right on it.”

Here’s what happened. We knew a big storm was coming, so we laid in all the stuff you need. We had a generator, fuel, food for the birds and chickens, grub for us mutts, grass for the goats, and plenty for mom and dad.

One by one things started going downhill. Once the snow was a couple of inches deep, I couldn’t find any place to do my business. Mom and dad shoveled for hours, but the snow kept coming. I had a little area just for me, but usually fell head first into a snow pile coming and going.

The lights went out, the phone went dead, the internet connection hardly worked. We had oil lamps for light and the gas fireplace for heat. It was spooky and fun at the same time. Mom cooked our grub on the gas stove and made sure we always had something warm in our bellies.

Eventually the snow stopped and the rains came. Then it froze and the winds started. Bam! Crack! That made Ash and Tess bark like crazy fools. Trees fell everywhere. The roads to town were blocked with trees. We had to have the neighbor plow out our driveway so we could get to the main road. Then we had to dodge the ice and trees to take the one route still open.

We were stuck for three days. It was kinda fun. We were together. Nobody got hurt. We had plenty to eat, but we did run out of frozen turkey necks. Ash had it the worst because it’s really hard to play ball in the deep snow. He lost a bunch of his old tennis balls in the snow, but we found them when the snow melted.

Life is pretty much back to normal now, except for all the debris the storm tossed around. There are lots of broken plants and trees on the lawn. Jack thinks that’s cool because he likes to piss on things that are out of place.

So that’s our big adventure. It’s true, we could have done a Bark or two while we were storm bound, but we were busy just keeping warm and shoveling snow.

Now that I’ve done this Bark for the pack, I’m sure Ash will post something real soon. He has some neat shots of stuff we did during the storm.

Nellie

 

Where’s My Baby?

Nellie

When I came to Asherpark, I didn’t have a name. Mom named me Nellie because she always liked that name. She figured that would be a nice name if someone adopted me.

After a few days at Asherpark my dad said I wasn’t going anywhere. I was going to spend the rest of my life right where I was.

Soon mom took to calling me Baby. I’m only ten pounds lighter than Ash, but I look a lot smaller. So even though I’m the oldest, my nickname is Baby.

You know I’m deaf and only see a little out of one eye. That makes for me getting lost all the time. The pack runs off and I’m left wondering where everybody went.

Now it’s getting worse. I follow mom everywhere in the house, but if she makes a quick turn I lose sight of her. Then I start walking in circles all over the house until I find her or get too tired and have to lie down.

It’s funny. I lose mom and she loses me. She’s always asking, “Where’s my Baby?”

Us deaf dogs can’t hear spoken words but we sure can hear the meaning. I know when she comes in the house even if I’m all the way in the back bedroom. My heart just bursts with joy when I know she’s saying, “Where’s Baby?”

Before the young mutts get to go outside to do their business, before mom tosses the ball for Ash, almost before she puts the groceries down, Mom has to find me.

How did this happen? After all those years when nobody cared where I was or if I was okay. “Where’s my Baby?” Those have to be the sweetest words I’ve ever known.

The last week mom has been working with me to get over some of my fears. When I first came to Asherpark I could hardly bear to let anybody touch me. I’d jump and cringe like I’d been hit with a cattle prod.

Now I let everybody pet me if they approach me real slow. I even go up to visitors so they can pet me.

I’m still real scared about being picked up. I know something awful happened to me a long time ago. I can’t remember what it was but I know it scared me silly.

Mom told me I have to be brave. She said it’s important to get lifted into the car when I have to go places. She told me if I was real brave, she’d lift me on the couch and I could watch the news with her.

Last night was my big night. Mom slowly put her arms under my legs and gently lifted me onto the couch. She sat down right next to me and started stroking my sore hips. I was worried at first, but then I put my head on her leg and fell asleep.

I watched a little football after the news. Then it was time to go outside. I slid off the couch and stumbled to the door. As soon as I got outside in the darkness, I couldn’t see a thing. I knew the other dogs had run back in the house for their treats. Where was the door? Where was everybody?

Then mom spoke my favorite words, “Where’s my Baby?” and I was safe at last.