BarkingProse

I woke up last night with the moon shining bright on my bed. I struggled to my feet and crept as quietly as I could to the front room.

Usually mom wakes up the minute I stir, but last night she was really tired and didn’t hear me.

I had to pee real bad, so I wet on the floor next to the living room rug. That way mom would see it and clean it up in the morning.

It was dark in the house and I knew I would have trouble finding my way back to the bedroom, so I lay down on the rug next to the couch. That way I could see the moon and smell where my mom always sits.

In a few minutes Codie appeared. She was wearing her transparent fur and she looked beautiful.

Ash told me that Codie was a princess. People came to call on her and brought her treasures like hamburgers from the local fast food joint.

This was the first time I saw Codie. When she came to me in my dream at the shelter, she was still on the other side of the bridge and I could not see her. I lowered my head so Codie would not think me impolite.

“It’s okay, Nellie,” she said. “Once you’ve crossed the bridge you don’t worry about who’s top dog or who has more stuff. You can look at me eye to eye.”

I was so grateful that Codie explained the rules to me. I mean no one any disrespect and I would hate to do something to offend Codie. After all, she is the one who saved my life and arranged for me to come to Asherpark.

I watched as Codie looked around her old home. She seemed nostalgic and I was afraid she was going to cry.

“Are you sad, Codie?” I asked.

“No, Nellie. I am just remembering the good times I had at Asherpark before I got sick.”

Codie came closer to me and nuzzled my face. Her eyes were soft with feeling and I knew she was about to tell me something important.

“Nellie,” she said. “You do not have many more weeks at Asherpark. It takes all your strength to stand and walk. Soon your body will give out and your soul will be released. When that happens, I will be with you and lead you across the bridge.”

I heard the words but could not fully grasp the meaning.

“It’s okay, Nellie,” Codie said. “I will come back in a few days and we can talk more. I hear Asher stirring and must leave before he sees me. His little boy heart is so sad when I have to leave him each time. It is better that he remember me when I wore my fur.”

With that Codie slipped away. The moon was piercing bright and I could not see how she left the house. I fell into a peaceful sleep. I will await Codie’s return.

 

 

 

Today is off to a good start. I made it through the night without an accident. I staggered from my bed to the kitchen door and made my toilet outside without soiling in the house.

It’s so embarrassing when I have accidents. Yesterday the runny poops surprised me and I dribbled all over the living room rug. The other mutts crowded round to smell the mess while I quick stumbled outside.

I never get scolded for having an accident. My people know I don’t do it on purpose. Mom says when I mess in the house at least she knows that my plumbing still works. I go outside about every two hours during the day, but that’s not always enough.

This morning I got an extra helping of pumpkin to keep my poops solid. Mom buys huge cans of pumpkin by the case. Me and the other mutts like it mixed with our homemade grub.

It’s getting harder for me to get around. I fall down a lot but then I pop back up. It upsets people to see me fall, but usually it’s no big deal. The other day I fell into a rack of plastic containers. That sure made a lot of noise.

I know my days are numbered and the number is small. I have my feet in this world but my eyes are on the other side of the bridge.

Codie comes to check on me nearly every night. She wants to make sure that I am not in pain and that I want to stay in this world.

I definitely want to stay for now. My nose works just fine and it helps me find the two things that matter the most – my grub and my people.

This morning I could tell that mom was feeling down, so I asked her what was wrong.

“Nellie, it makes me sad to see how hard you struggle,” mom said. “You can’t see, you can’t hear, you can barely walk. I worry about you Nellie.”

Suddenly a whole bunch of thoughts came tumbling out. I tried to tell mom that the past is over. What mean things people did to me many years ago have been erased by kindness.

Since I came to Asherpark no one has said a harsh word to me. Every hand that touches me is gentle and loving. One lady even took my picture so she could paint my portrait.

I remember how I felt during the dark days, but my new life is all that matters now. So I take it one day at a time. I know Codie will come get me when it is my time to cross the bridge. But today I’m looking forward to an extra helping of grub. One day at a time…..life is so very good.

 

Last summer I had my third vertigo attack since I came to Asherpark. It was a doozy. I got so sick and dehydrated I had to go to the hospital.

When I was released from the hospital I could not eat or drink on my own for nearly three weeks. The whole pack cheered the day I stuck my snout in a bowl of food and ate it without being hand fed.

I’m not a tidy eater. My messed up brain makes me pretty uncoordinated. I grab a mouthful of food, throw my head in the air, and gulp like I’m snapping at flies.

That makes for food splashed all over the walls and floor. The other mutts love it and clean up after me. I don’t mean to dwell on my problems. It’s just to let you know I’m still struggling.

When I came home from the hospital mom sat down next to me on the floor. She asked me if we could talk about living and dying and what happens when it’s time to cross the rainbow bridge.

I told her we could talk about anything she wanted, but crossing the bridge does not concern us mutts. She nodded and said it was much harder for people to accept.

Mom told me she wished I could have found her when I was still a little mutt. She said we could have had so much fun together.

People are strange. They talk about the past and worry about the future. They’re so busy thinking about stuff that didn’t happen they sometimes miss what’s right in front of their nose.

I knew mom wanted to tell me something special, so I stayed real quiet. She took my head in her hands and brushed the dried food off my ears.

“Nellie, when Codie comes to guide you across the bridge you have to leave your old worn out body behind.”

I was relieved to hear that because my old worn out body doesn’t have many miles left in it.

“When you cross the bridge, we will honor your memory by cremating your body,” mom said. “Your ashes will stay with us as long as we are in this world.”

This all sounded fine to me. I can’t wait to meet Codie and her friends on the other side of the bridge.

Mom could tell I was getting bored, so she asked me to listen just a little longer.

“Nellie, we want to put your ashes in a sacred urn. You are such a beautiful soul, Nellie, you deserve a beautiful resting place in this world.”

I was afraid to tell mom I had no idea what she was talking about. I had never seen an urn. She must have read my mind because she told me to stay put and she would fetch the urn for me to see.

Mom brought the urn to me in a box. As she opened the box mom told me her dear friend Julie is a famous potter. Julie made the urn and mom purchased it for my ashes. Mom said we are blessed to have such beauty in our home.

For once I was getting annoyed with mom. I just wanted her to hurry up and show me the urn. At last she did.

I could not believe my eyes. I had never seen anything as perfect as the urn. To think it is for me and it awaits my ashes when my physical self is finished in this world. A part of me will stay at Asherpark forever. How amazing is that!

I feel as if I am rooted in this world but my soul is contemplating our next destination. I will do as Codie asked and be mindful of the transition. I cherish my life, however limited it is, and await my journey across the bridge.

Before I pass I would ask you to look at this site: Julie Reisner Ceramics. Once you have seen Julie’s work, you will understand what it means to know my ashes will come to rest in her beautiful urn. You cannot help but see the magic she created when clay and fire combined to form a sacred vessel.