Tess

Longing

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Tess

If you read the DailyBark you know I don’t bark much. Well, I bark a lot in the house and I certainly bark at strangers, but I don’t do much formal barking.

The reason I volunteered to do today’s Bark is because of this picture. It’s a picture of me waiting for my dad to come back.

Me and dad make a strange pair. He didn’t choose me, I chose him. Well, not exactly. It’s hard to explain.

In 2009 Princess Codie died. I never met her and I’m not sure I would have liked her. She was the only dog in the household for thirteen years until mom decided to bring Asher home.

I’m told Codie didn’t like Asher at first, but she warmed up to him as he got out of his puppy madness.

Asher adored Codie. He would do anything she told him to do. They went everywhere together until the last few days of her life.

Once Asher realized Codie had crossed the bridge without him, he was so lost. Mom knew he needed a friend. Because Ash was young and handsome, mom thought he should have a girlfriend. That’s where I come in.

I had been picked up as a stray the day after the fireworks. Some kids adopted me and took me to live in a busy apartment. When they couldn’t keep me they tried real hard to find me a new home. Mom saw the ad for me on craigslist and the rest is history.

Me and Ash hit it off right away. There were all kinds of smells at Asherpark that made me crazy. I got into so much trouble I was always in the doghouse. I ran away as often as I could, but I’d hop in the car when they chased me down.

One day dad took me in his truck to get me out of the house. That’s when I knew he was my person, even though it took him a while to realize I was his dog.

One thing lead to another and pretty soon I was going everywhere with him. When he reads his newspaper, I lie next to his chair. When he watches TV, I lie next to him on the couch. Soon as he wakes up in the morning, I dash in to see if we’re going for a ride.

Before I came to Asherpark I never had a person like my dad. Somebody took care of me and fed me, but nobody took me with them every day. I guess I didn’t really know what it meant to have a special person.

One day me and Ash were talking. I told Ash I was confused about how I felt. My dad means so much to me it hurts to be without him.

Ash grabbed a hunk of my fur and gave it a twist. We started rolling around on the floor playing the mouth game. Then he looked at me real serious and said, “Tess, you love dad. That’s why it hurts to be without him.”

Ash got this far away look in his eyes like he was remembering something really sweet and sad at the same time. “Tess, I loved Codie. That’s why it hurt so much when she crossed the bridge without me. I miss her every day.”

I was still confused so I asked Ash what I feel when I can’t go with dad.

“It’s longing, Tess,” Ash said. “It’s the same thing I feel when I remember Codie and can’t be with her.”

So now I know. There are two sides to loving someone. There’s the fun side when you can be together and the sad side when you can’t. I gotta think about that, but right now my dad’s putting on his coat. I’m going with him. Watch me!

 

Nellie

Visitation

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Nellie

I woke up last night with the moon shining bright on my bed. I struggled to my feet and crept as quietly as I could to the front room.

Usually mom wakes up the minute I stir, but last night she was really tired and didn’t hear me.

I had to pee real bad, so I wet on the floor next to the living room rug. That way mom would see it and clean it up in the morning.

It was dark in the house and I knew I would have trouble finding my way back to the bedroom, so I lay down on the rug next to the couch. That way I could see the moon and smell where my mom always sits.

In a few minutes Codie appeared. She was wearing her transparent fur and she looked beautiful.

Ash told me that Codie was a princess. People came to call on her and brought her treasures like hamburgers from the local fast food joint.

This was the first time I saw Codie. When she came to me in my dream at the shelter, she was still on the other side of the bridge and I could not see her. I lowered my head so Codie would not think me impolite.

“It’s okay, Nellie,” she said. “Once you’ve crossed the bridge you don’t worry about who’s top dog or who has more stuff. You can look at me eye to eye.”

I was so grateful that Codie explained the rules to me. I mean no one any disrespect and I would hate to do something to offend Codie. After all, she is the one who saved my life and arranged for me to come to Asherpark.

I watched as Codie looked around her old home. She seemed nostalgic and I was afraid she was going to cry.

“Are you sad, Codie?” I asked.

“No, Nellie. I am just remembering the good times I had at Asherpark before I got sick.”

Codie came closer to me and nuzzled my face. Her eyes were soft with feeling and I knew she was about to tell me something important.

“Nellie,” she said. “You do not have many more weeks at Asherpark. It takes all your strength to stand and walk. Soon your body will give out and your soul will be released. When that happens, I will be with you and lead you across the bridge.”

I heard the words but could not fully grasp the meaning.

“It’s okay, Nellie,” Codie said. “I will come back in a few days and we can talk more. I hear Asher stirring and must leave before he sees me. His little boy heart is so sad when I have to leave him each time. It is better that he remember me when I wore my fur.”

With that Codie slipped away. The moon was piercing bright and I could not see how she left the house. I fell into a peaceful sleep. I will await Codie’s return.

 

 

 

Nellie

Another Day

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Nellie

Today is off to a good start. I made it through the night without an accident. I staggered from my bed to the kitchen door and made my toilet outside without soiling in the house.

It’s so embarrassing when I have accidents. Yesterday the runny poops surprised me and I dribbled all over the living room rug. The other mutts crowded round to smell the mess while I quick stumbled outside.

I never get scolded for having an accident. My people know I don’t do it on purpose. Mom says when I mess in the house at least she knows that my plumbing still works. I go outside about every two hours during the day, but that’s not always enough.

This morning I got an extra helping of pumpkin to keep my poops solid. Mom buys huge cans of pumpkin by the case. Me and the other mutts like it mixed with our homemade grub.

It’s getting harder for me to get around. I fall down a lot but then I pop back up. It upsets people to see me fall, but usually it’s no big deal. The other day I fell into a rack of plastic containers. That sure made a lot of noise.

I know my days are numbered and the number is small. I have my feet in this world but my eyes are on the other side of the bridge.

Codie comes to check on me nearly every night. She wants to make sure that I am not in pain and that I want to stay in this world.

I definitely want to stay for now. My nose works just fine and it helps me find the two things that matter the most – my grub and my people.

This morning I could tell that mom was feeling down, so I asked her what was wrong.

“Nellie, it makes me sad to see how hard you struggle,” mom said. “You can’t see, you can’t hear, you can barely walk. I worry about you Nellie.”

Suddenly a whole bunch of thoughts came tumbling out. I tried to tell mom that the past is over. What mean things people did to me many years ago have been erased by kindness.

Since I came to Asherpark no one has said a harsh word to me. Every hand that touches me is gentle and loving. One lady even took my picture so she could paint my portrait.

I remember how I felt during the dark days, but my new life is all that matters now. So I take it one day at a time. I know Codie will come get me when it is my time to cross the bridge. But today I’m looking forward to an extra helping of grub. One day at a time…..life is so very good.