For Me

Last summer I had my third vertigo attack since I came to Asherpark. It was a doozy. I got so sick and dehydrated I had to go to the hospital.

When I was released from the hospital I could not eat or drink on my own for nearly three weeks. The whole pack cheered the day I stuck my snout in a bowl of food and ate it without being hand fed.

I’m not a tidy eater. My messed up brain makes me pretty uncoordinated. I grab a mouthful of food, throw my head in the air, and gulp like I’m snapping at flies.

That makes for food splashed all over the walls and floor. The other mutts love it and clean up after me. I don’t mean to dwell on my problems. It’s just to let you know I’m still struggling.

When I came home from the hospital mom sat down next to me on the floor. She asked me if we could talk about living and dying and what happens when it’s time to cross the rainbow bridge.

I told her we could talk about anything she wanted, but crossing the bridge does not concern us mutts. She nodded and said it was much harder for people to accept.

Mom told me she wished I could have found her when I was still a little mutt. She said we could have had so much fun together.

People are strange. They talk about the past and worry about the future. They’re so busy thinking about stuff that didn’t happen they sometimes miss what’s right in front of their nose.

I knew mom wanted to tell me something special, so I stayed real quiet. She took my head in her hands and brushed the dried food off my ears.

“Nellie, when Codie comes to guide you across the bridge you have to leave your old worn out body behind.”

I was relieved to hear that because my old worn out body doesn’t have many miles left in it.

“When you cross the bridge, we will honor your memory by cremating your body,” mom said. “Your ashes will stay with us as long as we are in this world.”

This all sounded fine to me. I can’t wait to meet Codie and her friends on the other side of the bridge.

Mom could tell I was getting bored, so she asked me to listen just a little longer.

“Nellie, we want to put your ashes in a sacred urn. You are such a beautiful soul, Nellie, you deserve a beautiful resting place in this world.”

I was afraid to tell mom I had no idea what she was talking about. I had never seen an urn. She must have read my mind because she told me to stay put and she would fetch the urn for me to see.

Mom brought the urn to me in a box. As she opened the box mom told me her dear friend Julie is a famous potter. Julie made the urn and mom purchased it for my ashes. Mom said we are blessed to have such beauty in our home.

For once I was getting annoyed with mom. I just wanted her to hurry up and show me the urn. At last she did.

I could not believe my eyes. I had never seen anything as perfect as the urn. To think it is for me and it awaits my ashes when my physical self is finished in this world. A part of me will stay at Asherpark forever. How amazing is that!

I feel as if I am rooted in this world but my soul is contemplating our next destination. I will do as Codie asked and be mindful of the transition. I cherish my life, however limited it is, and await my journey across the bridge.

Before I pass I would ask you to look at this site: Julie Reisner Ceramics. Once you have seen Julie’s work, you will understand what it means to know my ashes will come to rest in her beautiful urn. You cannot help but see the magic she created when clay and fire combined to form a sacred vessel.