Before I Go

January 21, 2015

Mama Eleanora

I should not have waited so long to speak of what is in my heart. But the end has come upon me quickly and I struggle to give voice to feelings that overwhelm me.

To many I am an old scared dog barely worth a second glance. To my family I am precious.

My life has been full of ups and downs. I’ve been a stray and a mother. I’ve been hit and kicked, starved and forgotten. I am younger than I look. The hard life I have lived has taken a toll on me.

For the past two years my daughter, Shiloh, and I have lived at Asherpark. There we have known only kindness. There I received a new name. No longer  Marble (too cold and stoic a name), I became Mama Eleanora the Beautiful.

I had a year and a half to run free at Asherpark. I chased the shadows in the pasture and ran from imaginary coyotes. I was the only dog allowed to beg for food when the people were eating. I’ve had more than my share of steak and salmon.

My health took a turn for the worse a few months ago. I lost what little appetite I had and began to have accidents in the house. I was horrified when I soiled in the house, but everyone told me it was okay and not to worry.

Mom knew I did not want painful things done to me to save my life. I am too afraid of strangers and strange places. I asked only that I could end my days at home at Asherpark with my people and my daughter near me.

And so that day has come when I must say goodbye. The vet will come this afternoon to help me on my way. Mom will hold me in her arms and whisper that she loves me as I take my last breath.

I do not grieve for what I will be leaving. My journey through this world is complete. I have touched many souls through my suffering and shown that forgiveness is possible in the midst of terrible cruelty. My life will end much more gently than it began.

I do regret leaving my beloved Shiloh. She will not understand why I am gone, but I know she will be loved and cherished at Asherpark.

To those who saw my worth and did so much to save me, thank you. I am grateful for the kindness of strangers and the love of those who know me.

Now I must prepare for my journey. I go to join the other souls who once called Asherpark home. I will not be far away, held close and dear in the memories of those who knew and loved me.



One Response to “ Before I Go ”

  1. Sabine on January 21, 2015 at 5:09 pm

    Thank you for giving Mama hope, comfort and love. Her passing is sad, but the beginning of something much better and her future will be without suffering. May her future being be full of love, life and light.

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