The Poop Zone


When it’s time for us mutts to do our nightly bathroom stuff, mom comes out with us. She sends me and Jack and Tess into the fenced area she calls the Poop Zone. Nellie can’t make it that far, so she just staggers around until her bombs drop.

The Poop Zone is a recent addition to our backyard. Remember Sheriff Matt, the trainer? He told mom us mutts could be trained to do our bathroom stuff in one area of the yard. That way people wouldn’t step on our bombs all the time.

At first me and Tess thought the whole idea was nuts. Hey, we were used to splashing our scent and dropping our bombs wherever we felt like it. Mom would get so mad at Jack when he pissed on the grill. That was always fun to watch.

Anyway, we got this Poop Zone now. First thing in the morning we go straight to the zone. We always get praised for doing our business in the zone. Sometimes we even get a treat.

Tess caught on first. She’s so darn smart. Mom put her in the zone with the rest of us and she dropped a bomb. She got a cookie and got let out while me and Jack were still scratching our heads.

Finally Jack had to go real bad and mom wouldn’t let him out, so he went to the far corner and turned his back on us. Jack is real shy about his business and it was hard for him to go with everybody watching. But as soon as he finished mom gave him lots of pats and a big cookie.

Then it was just me. So maybe I was thinking too hard about something really simple. Why did our bathroom shrink? Before it was okay to go anywhere, but now mom wants us to go in one corner of the yard. How come?

While I’m thinking this over, Jack and Tess are making fun of me. People are hollering, “Do a poopers, Ash.” I knew I had to go but now I had an audience. My poop trap slammed shut. I was starting to get upset and looked up at mom.

Mom has always been a sucker for my baby blue eyes. She says she can read me through my eyes. She saw that I was getting frustrated, so she came inside the zone with me.

Mom told me all I had to do this time was pee. Okay, that’s no problem. I know that command, so I walked over to the same fern that Jack pissed on and let go a little squirt. The people clapped and mom slipped a treat in my mouth.

Then we went out front and played ball. We can pee and drop bombs in the big front yard, but in the backyard we have to use the Poop Zone.

There used to be a big stack of shoes at the back door waiting to be washed off. People were always stepping in our bombs. Us mutts didn’t think too much about it, but it sure made the people grumpy.

One time Jack was just lifting his leg to throw some splash on the shoes when mom grabbed him. It was so funny. Jack looked scared to death with mom shaking her finger at him and pointing at the shoes. Too bad Jack is deaf and couldn’t hear what mom had to say. That was pretty funny too.

These days it’s no big deal to use the Poop Zone. Once in a while we get lazy and leave a surprise in the grass, but mostly we use our own private latrine. It’s starting to smell real good to us mutts, even though the poop gets picked up on schedule. I never see shoes at the back door  anymore. I guess the Sheriff was right!

The Sheriff




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