BarkingProse

Last night I heard mom and dad talking about Christmas. This will be my fourth Christmas. I like Christmas day. In the morning everybody gets special hugs and kisses and extra treats. Later in the day our friends come over and they always bring me a present.

Last Christmas Tess was already at Asherpark so this is number two for her. She’s been asking me what I’m gonna give her. Give her? She takes my toys if she wants them. Why should I give her anything?

This is Jack’s first Christmas with us. He says being part of our pack is all the Christmas present he needs. I don’t think that’s all he’s gonna get.

Mom knows that Jack’s old bones ache in the cold wet weather. She sees that he has a harder time getting up and down. When mom put Jack to bed last night she noticed his bed was getting pretty thin. She laid down on it with him, which looked pretty silly, and decided there wasn’t enough stuffing.

Mom mentioned the thin bed to dad. He got all excited. “Let’s get Jack a new bed for Christmas,” dad said. “We can get him one like a couch with a back on it and put a heating pad in it.”

That got mom to thinking about the history of the dog beds in our house. Jack sleeps in a hand me down bed from our friend Frieda. Their cat kept peeing on it so it had to go to a new house. Tess sleeps on Codie’s old bed from LL Bean. That bed was bought new for Codie in 1993 and she used it until she died. Maybe we should tell the Beans how long it lasted. They might want it back to study it.

Anyway, mom got to wondering if Jack ever had a new bed of his own. She told me that’s gonna be his special present this year. A new dog bed all his own from the bean store. I hope Jack doesn’t pee on it. Oh well, it wouldn’t be the first time….. Anyway, gotta run!

Me and Jack were out doing our business. Like a couple of guys in the men’s room, we were barking nonsense to each other. Just for fun I asked him what he wanted for Christmas.

He put his leg down and looked at me. “I already got my Christmas present Ash. I got pulled from death row and I’m living a dream with you and Tess.”

Then his eyes teared up. “Ash, you don’t know what it’s like in a shelter. You’re in a cage 24 hours a day. The other dogs are barking and crying. You can smell the fear.”

“Some of the dogs were lost and their owners came for them,” Jack said. “I had an owner. She got in trouble because she didn’t take care of us. I kept hoping she would come get me and my buddy Butch, but she never did. If it weren’t for Old Dog Haven I’d be stinking up a grave somewhere.”

I understood the words Jack barked, but they made no sense to me. From the time I was a pup mom said she would always be there for me. She said if I ever got lost she would move heaven and earth to find me. Mom said me and her are soul mates and she would never ever give me up.

Jack found another tree to piss on. As he lifted his leg he looked right at me. “Be grateful that you’ve never known anything but love, Ash. You’re one of the chosen ones. But I’m the one who was saved. I’ll never forget that someone cared enough about a lonely old dog like me to save my hide. That’s pretty special.”

With that Jack trotted back to the house. He hadn’t seen mom for a couple of minutes and he was getting nervous. Chosen or saved. Each of us came to Asherpark on a different path, but here we were doing business together. I like that.

Mom just told me I am insolent. Ha Ha. I didn’t know what that word means, but I knew it wasn’t a compliment. So I looked it up. You know what? I am insolent. Rude, impertinent, full of myself and loud about it. Yup, that’s me.

A while back I decided that me and mom are partners. Oh, I let her boss me around sometimes. But other times I get after her until she does what I want. Bark, bark, bark. Right in her face, spit flying.

Into the laundry room to grab some underwear. Chase me around the room. Not paying attention? Grab a shoe. Still ignoring me I’ve got my paws on the counter to swipe the dishcloth. Bark bark. Race around the house getting Jack and Tess all worked up too.

Mom tells me she got Tess so I’d have somebody to play with. That was really nice and I do love hanging with Tess. Me and Tess play all sorts of games together. But mom belongs to me and I want her to pay attention to me unless I have something better to do.

Jack wants mom to notice him too, but he’s a gentleman about it. He just hugs her knee real close so she trips over him. Tess flops on her back so everybody has to stop and rub her belly.

Me, I have my ways. See my ball? Now pick it up and toss it to me. Didn’t notice? No problem. I’ll drop it on your lap.

Mom spends too much time with her computer. When I think she needs a break I bark at her until she gets up. She tells me she is rewarding my bad behavior. I tell her we are communicating.

Now Jack has learned to bark at mom when he wants something. It’s hilarious. Jack’s crooked old mouth with half a dozen teeth making those funny shapes while he barks. There’s no question who rules the house. Us dogs do!