BarkingProse

Us mutts woke up all excited this morning. We know there are some presents for us and we’ll get a big warm bowl of our special homemade dog slop for breakfast.

Lately mom has been asking us to think about what makes us happy and what we’re grateful for. I called the pack together and told everybody they each had to give me three things that brought them joy and I would post them in the bark today. I’ll save mine for last.

Tess says, “I’m really happy that I don’t have to wear that hideous pink harness someone put on me before I came to Asherpark. Everybody knows a redhead should never wear pink!”

“I really love having my own person and riding in the truck with my dad. What brings me the most joy is my pal, Ash. He taught me how to play and forgives me when my bad self comes out.”

Wow, that shows a lot of insight for Tess. She’s had to work on some issues since she came to Asherpark, but she’s made a lot of progress.

Jack says, “I am glad to be alive. I am glad to have a home with warm floors and all the food I ever need. I am so happy to belong to people who love me and have dog pals I trust.”

After a lifetime of neglect and five months in the slammer, Jack doesn’t ask for much in this life. He’s grateful just to be here with us. Almost brings a tear to my eye to think of what Jack has come through.

Nellie had the hardest time explaining what brings her joy. Maybe it’s because her cogs don’t work so good anymore. I tried to help her out by asking some questions, but that just made her more confused.

Nellie said it would come to her if she could write it down herself. Here’s what she wrote: “I am alive. I wasn’t killed on my execution date.  In my old life I was hungry, sick and lonely. That was so long ago I hardly remember. My new life is filled with love and kindness, people and dog pals, warm food, gentle pats, and my own sleeping pad right next to my mom. If I weren’t so crippled up, I would jump for joy!”

It’s hard to top what the other mutts have barked, but here goes. I was born with a happy spirit. I was named Asher after a guy in the Bible who was promised a happy life. I’ve had the best life any mutt could ever ask for.

My people even bought me five acres and named the place after me. I’m the mutt in charge at Asherpark. But if I had to pick one silly thing that makes me the most happy, it’s this. I can make my mom laugh even when she’s really mad at me. There’s nothing better in this world than seeing the person you love burst out laughing. It’s like bringing joy to your world!!

 

 

When it’s time for us mutts to do our nightly bathroom stuff, mom comes out with us. She sends me and Jack and Tess into the fenced area she calls the Poop Zone. Nellie can’t make it that far, so she just staggers around until her bombs drop.

The Poop Zone is a recent addition to our backyard. Remember Sheriff Matt, the trainer? He told mom us mutts could be trained to do our bathroom stuff in one area of the yard. That way people wouldn’t step on our bombs all the time.

At first me and Tess thought the whole idea was nuts. Hey, we were used to splashing our scent and dropping our bombs wherever we felt like it. Mom would get so mad at Jack when he pissed on the grill. That was always fun to watch.

Anyway, we got this Poop Zone now. First thing in the morning we go straight to the zone. We always get praised for doing our business in the zone. Sometimes we even get a treat.

Tess caught on first. She’s so darn smart. Mom put her in the zone with the rest of us and she dropped a bomb. She got a cookie and got let out while me and Jack were still scratching our heads.

Finally Jack had to go real bad and mom wouldn’t let him out, so he went to the far corner and turned his back on us. Jack is real shy about his business and it was hard for him to go with everybody watching. But as soon as he finished mom gave him lots of pats and a big cookie.

Then it was just me. So maybe I was thinking too hard about something really simple. Why did our bathroom shrink? Before it was okay to go anywhere, but now mom wants us to go in one corner of the yard. How come?

While I’m thinking this over, Jack and Tess are making fun of me. People are hollering, “Do a poopers, Ash.” I knew I had to go but now I had an audience. My poop trap slammed shut. I was starting to get upset and looked up at mom.

Mom has always been a sucker for my baby blue eyes. She says she can read me through my eyes. She saw that I was getting frustrated, so she came inside the zone with me.

Mom told me all I had to do this time was pee. Okay, that’s no problem. I know that command, so I walked over to the same fern that Jack pissed on and let go a little squirt. The people clapped and mom slipped a treat in my mouth.

Then we went out front and played ball. We can pee and drop bombs in the big front yard, but in the backyard we have to use the Poop Zone.

There used to be a big stack of shoes at the back door waiting to be washed off. People were always stepping in our bombs. Us mutts didn’t think too much about it, but it sure made the people grumpy.

One time Jack was just lifting his leg to throw some splash on the shoes when mom grabbed him. It was so funny. Jack looked scared to death with mom shaking her finger at him and pointing at the shoes. Too bad Jack is deaf and couldn’t hear what mom had to say. That was pretty funny too.

These days it’s no big deal to use the Poop Zone. Once in a while we get lazy and leave a surprise in the grass, but mostly we use our own private latrine. It’s starting to smell real good to us mutts, even though the poop gets picked up on schedule. I never see shoes at the back door  anymore. I guess the Sheriff was right!