Mama

Mama We Miss You

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Mama 2Mama was special and wild. I think she was part coyote. She had strange ways but she was very gentle.

For some reason Mama liked me and always sniffed me to make sure that I was okay. At first I thought it was kinda strange, but then I got used to it.

We all knew that Mama had been mistreated. She wouldn’t talk about it, but Shiloh whispered to me some of the awful things that Mama endured.

When Mama first came to Asherpark, she didn’t trust anyone. She hid in the back bedroom and would run away if anyone tried to pet her.

Slowly Mama began to trust me and mom. I didn’t realize what was happening at first until one day Mama allowed herself to be bathed.

Mama looked so pretty with her fluffy fur. She was a beautiful dog and very elegant.

A couple of times she invited me to play, but her wildness made her awkward and I didn’t know how to respond.

We spent lots of time curled up next to each other, hardly talking but taking comfort in our closeness.

I’ve seen a lot of sorry dogs pass through Asherpark but Mama was special. Mama never received the love she deserved until she arrived at Asherpark, yet she was filled with love and forgiveness.

Mom told me that Mama was a sacred spirit and had come to teach us an important lesson. I’m not sure what that lesson is, but I’m gonna think long and hard about it.

I feel so bad for Shiloh. She sure loved her mother and was always ready to protect Mama. Now Shiloh doesn’t have to worry about protecting anyone but herself. Maybe that’s a good thing.

We’re sad at Asherpark. We lost Mama and we know that Shiloh is sick with something that we can’t fix. We’re trying to enjoy each moment and not worry about the future, but that’s hard to do sometimes. Maybe Mama can show us the way. Maybe that’s what Mama came to teach us.

We love you Mama, wherever you are. If you have a lesson for us, we’re listening.

 

Mama, Shiloh

I’m Alone Now

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Shiloh 2013 BP

Shiloh

My mother died three days ago. I knew she had to go. She was weak and confused and didn’t want her food.

I looked out for her as best I could. I licked her ears to let her know I was close and ran to her when she fell down.

I was with my mother when the vet came. Just before she fell asleep my mother said, “Don’t be afraid, Shiloh. I won’t be far away.”

As she took her last breath my mother whispered, “It won’t be long until you see me again. We were meant to be together –  in this world and the next.”

People used to call my mother Marble. She never liked that name and was so happy when our new family changed her name to Mama.

I don’t remember much about our early lives except my mother was always there for me.

When I was really young we ended up at a shelter together. Some nice lady took us home. It was an okay life. We had food and water and some attention.

Then the nice lady died and her son got stuck with us. I guess he must have hated us or just didn’t care because he locked us in a tiny crate and left us there for months.

I was so hungry and scared. I wanted to die. I couldn’t stand up straight and my back legs withered.

I begged my mother to let us both die, but she couldn’t bear to lose me. So we huddled together and prayed that someone would find us and let us go.

It was only after I had given up all hope that we were rescued. We made our way from the frightful cage in southern California to the local shelter. From there we were taken to a wonderful foster home up north and finally to our forever home at Asherpark.

It is at Asherpark that I will end my days. I do not know how many days I have left, but it cannot be many. The day after my mother died I learned that I have a cancer that will take my life.

I am not sad. All that happens is for a reason. I think my mother needs me. I will go to her when she summons. In the meantime I have my life at Asherpark with my human mom and my best friend Asher.

 

Mama

I’m Okay Now

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Mama and Shiloh

It doesn’t hurt to die. Really it doesn’t. I just felt a little sting when the sedative went in.

My mom had her arms around me for support and I slowly fell asleep on my feet.

Mom helped me lie down on a pile of soft blankets. Shiloh lay down next to me. We were back to back and I could feel her warmth.

I heard everything that was said. Mom told me it had been an honor to care for me and that she would never forget me. She said she would always take care of Shiloh and I would know that was true when Shiloh comes to find me on the other side.

Then it was time for the final shot. I didn’t even feel it when the vet put the needle in my vein.

My heart stopped beating as I lay cradled in the arms of the person who brought me to Asherpark, the person who loved me despite my many flaws, the person I trusted to make the decision to let me go.

I died at home at Asherpark. I died surrounded by people who loved and cared for me. I died with my daughter at my side. I died with dignity. It was an easy passage.

I am in transition now. My spirit is free and I am no longer trapped in the body that endured so much abuse and neglect. I have begun my journey as a celestial dog.