BarkingProse

It’s been two months since Tess died and my world turned upside down. It all came on so fast I hardly knew what was happening.

I could see that Tess was slowing down but she was still full of herself and could play a mean game of bump and run.

Mom kept asking Tess what was wrong. Either Tess didn’t know or she wouldn’t say. Finally after lots of trips to see our vet Mom made an appointment with a specialist.

Two days before her appointment Tess was panting heavy and had a distant look in her eye. Mom didn’t like what she saw and took Tess to see the emergency vet. They ran some tests on Tess and did an ultrasound on her belly. The news was awful. Tess had a huge tumor and there was no hope.

We were stunned. Our beautiful crazy Tess was gonna die and we barely had time to say good-bye.

Tess came home that night and sat by me. We didn’t talk out loud but our silent barks went back and forth like ping pong balls.

“Ash, I’ve been called home,” Tess said. “I’m not ready to go but I don’t really have a choice.”

“I wish I was going instead of you,” I blurted out.

Tess pawed me and licked the tears from my eyes.

“You gotta stay, Ash. You’re the lynchpin at Asherpark. You have to put the pack back together after I go.”

How could I put things back together without Tess? We’d always been the Evil Twins. We did everything together. And now Tess was leaving and I’d be one sad and solitary mutt.

My heart was screaming and there was nothing anybody could do or say to make it stop.

Tess knew how bad I felt. She did her nasty girl growl and took off running. I chased after her and caught her half way to the front gate. We ran the rest of the way together, barking like a couple of fools.

Tess was still with me. The terrible day would come soon enough, but for now this was our time.

 

 

 

 

 

The two days since my diagnosis flew by. My people never left my side and let me eat all manner of treats. For some reason my appetite did not fail me, so the treats were a welcome distraction.

People came to say goodbye. My special friend Carol came with a sack of burgers from McDonalds. I was so happy to see her and I was especially happy to eat the burgers.

Another friend brought her camera and took pictures of me. I felt like a princess being stalked by the paparazzi.

In the afternoon of the day I would die, I took what has become a ritual walk into the pasture to wander amongst the alpacas and the hens. It seemed strangely comforting to know the farm animals were unaware it was my last day.

Leaving the animals behind, I walked around the back yard, rolled in the grass and then returned to my favorite place in the studio, where I spent countless hours with Ash and my people.

Soon the phone rang. The vet was on her way and my time left on earth could be measured in minutes. My people tried to be strong for me. They told me how much they loved me and what a wonderful dog I was. Their tears splashed on my nose and they used my fur to dry their eyes.

Ash looked at me and I could tell his little boy heart was going to explode. That was the hardest part, saying goodbye to my best friend.

Mom asked if I wanted to have one last treat with Ash. Of course I did, so we raced into the our crates like we had hundreds of times before.

And then it was time. The vet arrived as expected. Mom put Ash in his crate with a bone so I would know he was close by.

My people told me over and over how much they loved me. They kissed me goodbye and wished me godspeed on my journey. As I crossed the bridge I knew in my heart that everything happens for a reason. I am where I should be and I am whole again.

 

 

By the time you read this I will be dead. I have only two days of life in my physical form remaining and much to do before I go.

I always knew this day would come. I knew that at a moment when I felt most alive I would be summoned, called to cross the rainbow bridge.

I was not surprised when the emergency vet reported that I had a very large tumor in my abdomen and that not even surgery would save me.

My people wept at the news but I simply took a few deep breaths and thought about what I would be leaving behind.

My first thought was for Asher. That silly dog loves me with all his heart. My death will break his heart. A single tear will fall from each of his beautiful blue eyes and he will blubber like a little boy. He still blubbers when he remembers his beloved aunt Codie.

My people will blame themselves for not discovering the tumor sooner. But what else could they have done? I saw the vet so many times and in the end the tumor took hold and bolted before anyone knew it was there.

That’s why I know there is a reason I have been summoned. The decision was made somewhere in the great beyond, my DNA was scrambled, the tumor grew very large and here I am with only hours to live.

I had a happy life at Asherpark – nearly six good years. And now it’s over, not quite in the blink of an eye but so much sooner than I hoped. It’s not that I’m afraid to die. I just wish I could have lived a little longer.

It will be hard on my people. You should see how sad they are to lose an old worn out mutt like Mama. I’m still young and in the prime of my life. I know they will miss me for a long time.

I have another day before the vet comes to send me on my way. I’m grateful that I will die at home with Ash close by and my people holding me as I take my last breath. I will write more when I am able. Until then I’m living like there’s no tomorrow.