I look back on my early days with both clarity and confusion. Was I really once so small that she could easily carry me in her arms? Did I really spend my first nights with her sharing the same pillow?
I vividly recall the night I realized I no longer could fit my entire self on her pillow. She laughed and told me I was to the pillow born, but I would have to find a larger one. It’s true about the pillow.
I was born in Black Diamond, Washington in 1993. My father was an Australian Shepherd named Bud, my mother Rosie. Daddy Bud and Mama Rosie belonged to a very nice couple who lived on a small acreage. Daddy Bud was a giant of a dog. Perhaps that is where I acquired my attraction to large males. He was an oversized black tricolor with a wonderful disposition and a love of food.
My mother was a red merle, much smaller than my father. My mother had a wicked streak. She tortured the resident horses by staring at them until they went mad and had to be placed with another family.
I was one of five. It was my mother’s first litter, and a planned pregnancy I might add. I was the only blue merle amongst my siblings. My human birth mother selected me as hers and thus began my relationship with pillows.
Before my eyes were open, in the time of dreamy darkness, when I could hear and smell and feel but not see, she would lift me away from Rosie and carry me to the sacred bed. I knew it was sacred. I could feel it and smell it. Her husband was away on business. The bed was large and empty without him. She would put me on his pillow, diapered of course, and whisper that I was special. I was the only one allowed on the pillow. I was to remain with my birth family while my siblings were offered for adoption. I was indeed very special and blessed.
But circumstances changed. The husband had to follow his job to a far away place. Bud and Rosie were placed with friends and I was offered for adoption. How the gods contrived to place me in such an extraordinary home, I do not know. But there she was, holding me and whispering sweet silliness into my ear. Soon I was in the car headed to my future. My human birth mother wept as we drove away. I was anxious but not frightened. I was ready for my new life to begin.