Girlfriends

This picture was taken right after Tess got her big haircut. I was checking out her girlie stuff to make sure she was okay. Thank goodness they didn’t shave her tail. She looked silly enough the way she was.

Apparently girlfriends don’t appreciate hearing about their bad haircuts. All I told Tess was she looked goofy with all her curls gone. I said from a distance she looked kinda butch.

I was just running my mouth. I didn’t mean any harm, but Tess got pretty mad at me and said she didn’t want to be my girlfriend anymore.

I was horrified. Just because I told her she was funny looking doesn’t mean I don’t love her. She went off in a huff and sat by dad. He kept telling her how pretty she was. Mom laughed. Tess didn’t look all that pretty, but she sure wouldn’t drop as much hair around the house this way.

Mom told me not to worry. She said Tess would get over her mad and everything would be okay. In the meantime I went looking for my other girlfriend.

That’s what mom calls my fuzzy binkie. When Tess won’t play with me I grab my binkie and drag it all over the house. Everybody knows not to mess with this girlfriend. I like her a lot. She never talks back, doesn’t snap at me, and always wants to play. Sometimes I take her to bed with me.

It’s good to have more than one girlfriend. You never know when your main squeeze is gonna stop talking to you. If you have a backup girlfriend at least you have somebody to play with.

Jack could use a girlfriend too. One time this old greyhound came to the house. She had been rescued from the racetrack and probably never had a boyfriend.

Jack made a fool of himself chasing after her and barking her up. Anyway, she wouldn’t pay any attention to Jack. It kinda hurt his feelings.

I offered Jack my backup girlfriend, but he wasn’t interested. Later that night Jack poured himself a scotch and moped around the house. Tess flirted with him to make him feel better, but it didn’t help.

The next day mom took Jack on a solo ride. He got to meet some women that mom knows. They made a fuss over him. He came home with a big smile on his face.

That’s what girlfriends can do for you. When they’re not mad at you they make you smile. Hey, here comes Tess. She wants to play with me! Gotta run.